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Tuesday, September 30, 2003 I am, on the record, out sick today. Off the record, however, I’m fine, fine. I woke up this morning severely under-rested and feeling a little queasy and achy, so at Jeremy’s behest, I just called in sick. I really was, sort of. I then lay in bed until 11, chatted with my brother on the phone, called Kat because I knew she had the day off to study for the GRE’s, dressed myself in early Fall attire, rode up to Williamsburg reading The Naked Detective, a horrible mass market which I chose because it sounded pathetically bad and I never seem to read crappy books anymore so I figured I should, met Kat for lunch at Bliss, devoured a seitan steak and cheese sandwich and talked for awhile, wandered with her down Bedford marveling at all of the bed-headed do-nothings, then went into Manhattan and sold some books at the Strand and got $13, which was almost exactly the cost of the book I later bought after checking four bookstores trying to find any one of the short story books you guys recommended to me, which felt so futile that finally finding Bad Haircut by Tom Perotta was practically a near miracle (Erica doesn’t have to maim my jugular region now) and then I strolled around my own neighborhood and went to Sahadi’s which is usually closed before I get home from work and bought special foods from them including a packet of fresh made pesto ravioli for $3 (!!), and then grabbed a bottle of Yellowtail Shiraz to go with and meandered home through a veritable swarm of schoolchildren on scooters and their nannies following doggedly behind, and then walked in the door and flipped on the TV and saw that Mommy Dearest is on which made me happy, and now I’m going to take my new book and maybe some wine and some smokes and go and sit on the stoop and shiver a little in the early Fall briskness which is so refreshing I can hardly fucking stand it. I love days like today. You can’t possibly try to argue that your day was better than mine. the words spilled out effortlessly at 17:42 Monday, September 29, 2003 Hey guys: Does anybody know of either... a studio in Williamsburg / Greenpoint for under $1000 or a room in Williamsburg / Greenpoint for under $700? Two different friends have suddenly been turned to drifters and in need of apartments. Good people. Any tips appreciated, or even good realtors for the studio if you know of any. the words spilled out effortlessly at 09:40 Thursday, September 25, 2003 I don't know exactly where I've been all week. Well, I guess technically, I do know. I took Tuesday off to write an article that's coming out next week in a local magazine, hot dog for me... I hesitate to detail it here for fear of uncloaking myself, but I'm pretty sure after two years of doing this blog thing that any stalker might have figured me out on their own. I'll probably tell you about it soon. It's been fun to work on, though. I got to interview artsy types and repeatedly say to my friends, "Tonight? Yeah no, I can't go, I have to work on my article." Other than that, I guess I've had a decent week. I'm participating in a "panty exchange", which is tantamount to the chain letters of our youth but instead of postcards from kids in Guam, I'm supposed to get (clean, new) underwear. It's been hard finding people who will agree to do it, though. I thought anybody would be down with getting 36 free pairs of new undies, but apparently I'm a rare bird. Frugality and delicates probably shouldn't mix, but what the hell. I wonder if chain letters exist anymore, if the internet has rendered them obsolete. I also have an update on my brother. He was in Virginia during the big storm but was completely fine, even though he spent the storm in a lean-to in the middle of the woods... says he had a great time. Anyway, he called me the other day and was telling me that he's pretty sure what he wants to do when he finishes the trail is join this organization called WWOOF which stands for World-Wide Opportunities on Organic Farms. He wants to go work on a farm in England for awhile and then join the peace corps. Pretty good plan, if you ask me. {Ann, will you visit him if he moves to England?} I hope he never has to sit behind a desk, ever. I also found out just today that I have the hardware for a CD burner on my work computer, and all I need is the software. All this time I've been yearning for one and it's been right here. the words spilled out effortlessly at 16:38 Monday, September 22, 2003 "I am the very model of a modern Major-General, I've information vegetable, animal, and mineral, I know the kings of England, and I quote the fights historical From Marathon to Waterloo, in order categorical; I'm very well acquainted, too, with matters mathematical, I understand equations, both the simple and quadratical, About binomial theorem I'm teeming with a lot o' news, With many cheerful facts about the square of the hypotenuse." In my head right now. I am not pleased. the words spilled out effortlessly at 16:22 Friday, September 19, 2003 A few things: - On the subway this morning, I dismissed a fellow passenger's potential attractiveness as "too reality-show". I thought that was pretty funny of me. - New Michael Ian Black on McSweeney's today. - I got paid today. Now I can pay back the list of people I had to borrow from last week in order to make it to payday. This list includes Kat, from whom I borrowed $20 on her birthday so that I could afford to help pay for her birthday meal. Real classy, I know. How have I survived this long, I wonder? - A friend of mine in the art department shared a secret with me the other day. She showed me a secret folder on the server that's full of awesome music! Now, my iTunes is now just that little bit fatter, having acquired The Thrills, Starlight Mints, Supergrass, Califone, and Palace Music. So far. Would that I had a CD burner on my work computer... why don't I? - Am rejiggering my Palm Pilot. I figured, if I have it, why am I letting it sit unused? So I've been inputting people's birthdays, and somehow I have managed to make it so that every day of the year is marked as Jackie-O's birthday. - Am going to see a gay metal band tonight called Pink Steel. - I am cranky and already annoyed about the impending weekend. Too many things on my list of things I must, must do and too little time. - Arrrrgh. the words spilled out effortlessly at 12:33 Thursday, September 18, 2003 I don't feel good today. My hand smells like pearl onions and my hair is doing this bizarre Olive Oyle thing and my shirt is too short and I am dehydrated to the point of having to perma-squint to deal with my computer screen. It was one of those nights last night where you're sipping red wine and smoking the occasional cigarette and talking animatedly about this and that and growing more animated and more animated and suddenly you look at the person you're with and realize that you're dizzy and drunk and not seeing quite straight, all of a sudden like that, which wasn't what you thought was going to happen at all, and you think, right, time to go to bed, and then you have one more glass and then you stumble to your boyfriend's house and then you decide to watch one, just one, episode of Buffy: Season 2, and so you do, and it's the one where Spike first makes an appearance, and then you take a shower even though you're not sure why, and then you lie in bed drunk and wet-haired and cuddly and before you know it it's 2 a.m. and you just know you're going to feel like shit when you wake up at 8 a.m. dehydrated and with Olive Oyle hair and onion-smelling hands and a cracking headache. And you do feel like shit. Still, worth it. the words spilled out effortlessly at 18:00 Wednesday, September 17, 2003 I've been absent-mindedly avoiding my blog this week for reasons not quite known even to me... but to make up for the dearth of text / things to say, I've put together a list of treats: my current list of favorite short story collections! Off the top of my head, these are the ones that get me excited just thinking about them, because they inspire me and because they're practically edible they're so good, and because I can't stop thinking about short stories, here they are for your reading enjoyment: Like Life: Lorrie Moore Self-Help: Lorrie Moore After the Quake: Haruki Murakami Dogwalker: Arthur Bradford Things That Fall From the Sky: Kevin Brockmeier The Stories of Vladimir Nabokov Kissing in Manhattan: David Schickler Hotel World: Ali Smith Nine Stories: J. D. Salinger Stranger Things Happen: Kelly Link Speaking with the Angel: a bunch of people Intimacy and Midnight All Day: Hanif Kureishi I know there must be more... classics, children's short story collections that I can't think of right now... what are yours? Add some, suggest some, please. I'm reading short stories at a wickedly fast pace these days. the words spilled out effortlessly at 10:59 Friday, September 12, 2003 If you ever want to be on my "go to hell" side, you should try the following approach: come up behind me while in line at the grocery store wearing a muscle tee and carrying three bottles of carboload powder in your arm, ask me if I go to a gym around here, tell me I'm beautiful, call me baby, stand too close to me, ask my name, and then call to me as I hurry out of the store that I need to smile more. Or, if you'd rather plough your own route to permanent hating-you status, you may encroach upon my personal space and make me feel incredibly awkward in any way you like. And then tell me I need to smile more. Pretty much guaranteed, I'll hate you forever. the words spilled out effortlessly at 15:01 Wednesday, September 10, 2003 This is a day on which I feel as if I'm standing right in front of some invisible thing, and I can't see it but I know it's there. I can sort of smell it. This thing is, I think, change. I'm standing practically nose-to-nose with change, as if I could take hold and waltz it around the room if I wanted to. It's directly in my line, right there, right THERE. New job, new job... that is important, yes, and I'm working on it. I applied for three jobs this week, and am keyed up and feeling full of prospect. But I feel now that even if I don't get any of them, even if I'm sitting in this same damn chair a year from now, I'm still excited today about turning new leaves and trying new things and living up to my potential and all of that stuff. See... I want to make radio segments. I want to collect stories and people and sounds and string them out there on the transom. That is what I want to do. And after a week of asking around about "how to get a job writing stuff like they put on This American Life", I've come to realize that as a career, this may not be an option. In fact, it's quite nearly impossible. But it's something I can do on my own, if I can figure out how! And oh, how I want to figure out how. the words spilled out effortlessly at 13:55 Tuesday, September 09, 2003 Happy Talky Talk I just got my new Digital Voice Recorder in the mail, and boy am I excited! I'm gonna do so many cool things with this gadget... not the least entertaining of which will undoubtedly be recording drunken friends' just-barely-coerced vows of my undying coolness after nights of downing pints. I'm going to interview people, talk to people, strangers and good friends alike because they all have stories to tell, and record the sounds of the street at certain hours of the day, and steal bits of people's conversations on the subway, and make vocal "notes to self" instead of just repeating things in my head with every step, in left-right "MUST buy TOI-let PA-per" fashion, or forgetting them, as I so often do with literary-sounding sentences I dream up and mean to write down but don't. Ach, so many ideas! It's so tiny... I could take it anywhere. So far, the only things I've got recorded are me trying desperately to talk the cat into mewing for the microphone, and me saying, "This is Sarah N_, coming to you LIVE from the living room futon!" a few times. And one malevolent cackle. But that's okay. Big ideas. Huge. ! the words spilled out effortlessly at 00:22 Monday, September 08, 2003 It's getting so the weekends are too much for me anymore. the words spilled out effortlessly at 12:11 Friday, September 05, 2003 So I made an ass of myself to Bishop Allen after the Shins show last night. Story: Jeremy and I get drunk drunk at Boxcar lounge before the show, and then keep knocking back beer once we get to the show like a couple of morons who have never tried alcohol before. As we stagger out onto the sidewalk, a scruffy-headed young man offers me a promotional CD. I look hard at the CD and it registers with me that the guy is in Bishop Allen, my new favorite discovery! In fact, I just got the CD on Wednesday and listened to it Thursday morning for the first time. "Hey, yeah!" I slur. "You're the guy on the cover! You're in Bishop Allen!" He says yeah, that's him all right. And then do I go on and ON. About the music, about one of the band members who I used to work with, about Modest Mouse, about fuck knows what else, all with the enthusiasm of a sugared-up five year old (or a drunk person). He asks me where I heard about the band, and I listen to myself going on and on about Catherine's Pita for no less than three minutes. "No no, not Catherine Spita, Catherine's PITA," accompanied by what I believe to be a pita-like hand gesture. "It's a website! It's really great! I read it every day!" and so on and so forth. Jeremy finally pulls me away after twenty minutes or so of me talking and the BA guy just kind of looking at me and nodding, and I careen over to some other guy and started going on to HIM about how great his band is, until I realize that he is not a member of Bishop Allen at all... just some guy. But the other Bishop Allen guy is standing a few feet down from him, so I scoot over and tell HIM how great his band is and isn't it crazy that I've just bought the CD the day before, and blah blah blah... until Jeremy pulls me away and there are no more band members to talk to, so we just go home. the words spilled out effortlessly at 14:51 Thursday, September 04, 2003 Well, I'll be damned if Enon isn't playing at Luxx tonight, TONIGHT, the very same night on which I have tickets to see The Shins! And Enon is so much better live, comparatively... I'm annoyed. Very annoyed. Despite my near-complete dearth of lesbian tendencies, I still have a deal with Jeremy which makes it okay and completely guilt-free for either of us to make out with the hot bassist from Enon if we ever get the chance. Oh well. You should go in my place. And if you get to make out with the bassist, more power to you. On another concert-related note... does anybody know anybody who has spare tickets to the Dandy Warhols? Sukilicious, who once gave the world a great blog which is sadly now defunct, really wants to go and because she is rad, I want her to be able to go, too. Email me about it. the words spilled out effortlessly at 14:19 Wednesday, September 03, 2003 Okay, so, big day today: I decided what I want to do professionally! I swear to you, I was sitting at my desk at work and it just came to me! And I think this goal is actually going to stick! It seems like the perfect way to blend my talents and interests and personality. That being said... I'm not telling what it is, because you will either think, gee, that sounds a bit far-fetched... or gee, that sounds like something I want to do! and then we would be competing head to head and I could end up kicking myself or killing you and wouldn't that be horrible. So, in lieu of jinxing myself or giving away my quietly exhilirating new goal / idea, I shall keep mum about it for the time being. I want to follow up, ask around, inquire, learn, build, grow, gain, get the job of my dreams, and then maybe I'll tell you. Or maybe I'll break down and blab about it tomorrow, as is likely. But! Despite my thick cloak of secresy and mistrust in you-who-are-also-desperate-for-new-and-cool-career-ideas (Mustie, I don't mean you - you I must tell, do call), I hope you will offer me a bit of advice if you can: I want to buy a Mac. Probably an iBook, but maybe an iMac or a Powerbook, if the price is right. Where should I look? Anybody know of any top secret cheap-but-reliable computer nooks? Or have any tips on what I should definitely keep in mind while shopping? You probably don't know how badly I want and need a new computer, and how poor broke I am and how afraid of going into further debt I am. Nonetheless, I will go to sleep tonight feeling an inkling of promise. ! the words spilled out effortlessly at 21:03 Tuesday, September 02, 2003 I've just decided to start listing out my short-term goals, parsing them into months for now, so I can get a better grip on what exactly I do with myself and what I might possibly be able to do to make things run better. Bite-sized goals. My goals list for September is humble and not especially lofty. No world-saving, or grad-school-considering, or picking-up-and-starting-over-ing... I aim high, but I also know what is too high. I think I can and will do these things, and doing these things will make me happier, probably, so I will endeavor to fulfill them: - Read as many short stories as I can get my hands on! Reread favorites! - Make up a gathering of photocopies of my favorites and give them to other people! - Write for at least 15 minutes before bed every night that I'm home / sober - Ask people to give me words I can then churn into story ideas (ahem...) - Brainstorm for pitch ideas and don't stop until I have four that I like and more that I don't necessarily like but could be improved upon - Go through old posts for ideas / snippets / hope - Go to B&N, look through career planning books - Take a better career aptitude test - Send resumes out instead of not sending resumes out - Quit bitching about work so much - Decide what, in my closet and bookshelves, I need and what I do not need - Sell or give away everything I don't need - Spend $0 on clothes - Get a library card - Plan a dreamy vacation - Dream more - Drink more - Smoke less - Cook more tasty foods - I will send postcards to my socks - Look into taking guitar lessons from Dan Smith - Get my hands dirtier - Ride my bike to the waterfront at least once - Call my grandparents on Sundays - Chip away at inner struggles and resentments and just try to let things be as they are - Make a goals list for October the words spilled out effortlessly at 11:53 |
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